[wantostopit]

I'm 32, and I think it began in my college days - whenever I did not have a girlfriend, I'd masturbate to porn. First to VHS tapes, then DVD, now online porn....

I've been reading books, attending seminars (like the Landmark Forum), doing self-hypnosis, etc, and have come to the realization that in spite of being successfull as a software engineer, happily married, etc - I've not been able to shake the masturbation/porn combo for a good while.

I see some of the other posters attempted to abstain for 2 weeks - and I tried this, without ever coming across this forum, but a funny thing happened - I got irritable and snappy toward my wife/surroundings. I then relapsed back into viewing/masturbating, because I didn't think becoming a nervous wreck was worth it.

What's funny is, the same sexual energy I dissipate through masturbation/porn, is the same thing that has kept me going all these years. I am of a highly sexed nature, do not have long refractory periods after having sex, and am able to 'recharge' quickly....

I've been a philanderer (I've stopped that since awhile back) in my marriage, and it's that damned sex drive again, and the lack of feeling satisfied with my own wife that pushed me to do it... Just more of the same, more sex, but somehow it completely lacks satisfaction and is never enough, regardless of how many times I am able to do it.

That's the long and short of it - so my only question is - how do you keep the sexual energy going, while NOT masturbating/watching porn, AND NOT feeling like a nervous wreck due to abstaining from sex/masturbation? I go to the gym 45 minutes a day, but that doesn't seem to help me either (it actually pumps me up even more)...

Really, I want to stop masturbating because I think it's probably the most counterproductive/wasteful thing you could do to yourself, yet I can't seem to control the urge successfully because it can come on anytime of day/night even with a thought ...

So, any suggestions?