[Jane]

I have been doing a terrible job. I have looked at p once everyday. And I'm frustrated, because I want so badly to not have this desire, but I do. But I guess we have to take what we get. And I know that I have been doing better that I have in the past. To follow up my recent post, my bf and I had sex. And we didn't stop. But when he left for work, I looked at p. Sex for us isn't about both of us coming, it is just for him. I just sit there and cry when he leaves. I am in love with this perfect man, and yet I am ruining it with sex and my sick desires.
I know that I can't be with him. I know that he is the reason of my addiction. But he is the only man that has ever loved me. And he takes away so much of my pain from my childhood. But he brings this p and mb person in me. I know I can't sacrifice myself for him to love me. I know that it is time for me to quit this. And I also know that I can't with him in my life. How do I quit him?
Jane