[dave42]

Wow! I'm sorry I've been away from this site for a week. I was on a trip to Boston. It was great!

Okay, so I want to say to Luke: Sorry for the delayed response! Luke, when you wrote: "Anyway, I've realised I'm better off without it, and I am determined to quit" I was really inspired. How is it going? And I agree about this thing that you said, too: "In my experience of gay relationships, that's [i.e. not discussing it w/partner] not the case, and it's easy to see why. If both partners are men, and men tend to use P more, there's more chance it would be discussed." Yep, I think you are right. At least that was true in my first relationship (8 years). In my current relationship, we don't talk much at all about P. So, Luke, what can we do to support you? Good luck!

Valjean: Thanks so much for your supportive words. Your theory is really amazing: "I believe a lot of it [gay men's huge p collections] has to do with the prejudice that they experience in our society." In 30 years of looking at the stuff (a lot!!), this has never once occurred to me. So thanks!

Halfpint: You been a HUGE support to so many of us here, so if folks respectfully disagree with you on this one, I hope it's no sweat. I would ask every guy here -- straight, gay bisexual, or whatever -- to try to avoid using the term "gay" in a negative way, even if you don't mean it in a harmful way. Analogy: if you are playfully hitting a guy softly in a way that doesn't hurt you, and the guy says, "Ouch! That really hurts!" what would you do? I think you'd stop hitting him. Maybe it wouldn't hurt you, and maybe it doesn't seem like it would or should hurt someone else, but if the guy says it hurts, you might as well take him at his word and stop hitting him.

Okay, so, as always, coming here to TTF has been a great help to me. Hope everyone reading this is doing well with your struggle! Good luck, everyone!

All the best,

Dave