Hi Woldadmirer, and welcome to the site also.
As Vorlan, says there are many on this site that are in a very similar situation to you, and will be able to relate to yo difficulty after many years of being consumed by P, to actually share that secret on here. So for taking the courage to take the first step and actually acknowledge that you have problem here, is huge, and I applaud you for that.
Vorlan has provided you with some links to some journals on this site, Please also take a look at the
Getting Started Guide as majority of the steps are covered here.
You say that
"you really dont know if this will help" The truth is nothing will actually help you, if you do not want to help yourself. So first and foremost, you need to be completely clear on why you have had enough of PA, and why you want to rid it from your life. Without clear goals and objectives, there will never be determination to follow through.
Finally, with reference to your point about why the acronym 'P' is used rather than the full word. There are a number of members who still do post the full word, so please fee free to do so if you wish. The main reasons people use acronyms, is the main topic of this site is quite obvious, and reference to it may occur a considerable amount. So quite simply it is easier to press one letter on your keyboard that 10+
Please see this reference post for commonly used acronyms.
Wish you best of strength and look forward to reading your story and your journey progress.
All the best
FM