[admin]

How does porn influence our ideas about sexuality and the opposite sex?
by Cmperry (SO)

The world is changing before my very eyes. The internet revolution has taken over, morals, values; self respect and decency are becoming a thing of the past. Pornography has not only changed my views on sexuality and the opposite sex, but about the same sex as well.

As a child I was the furthest thing from shy you could possibly be. As I grew older this started to fade, by about age 10, I had become a very modest person. There is no real reason, I have never been abused, it was just me growing into my skin I guess. I have always been happy being modest, I even adopted “modesty is the best policy” here recently. But it seems as though I’m in the wrong time for modesty, that too is becoming a thing of the past. I never believed in censorship until recently, due to my parents being hippies, but like I said the world is changing.

My views on men have not really been greatly affected, for my father did not indulge pornography, so when I hear “every man does it” I’ve always had a rebuttal. My views on my husband have been greatly destroyed though, I just don’t feel what I once felt for him, I feel he does not value this relationship or myself the way that I value him, I don’t really respect or trust him anymore, I feel I have lost a great friend. He can be sitting right next to me, and still make me feel so very alone. When we first met, it was like nothing I had ever known before, I felt so loved, cherished, I felt love, but it just seems to be slipping further and further from my grasp.

My views on women have been greatly altered. Anymore, I just resent women, I resent that I cannot have a good day with my husband because they are everywhere, degrading themselves, and degrading me in the process. Everywhere I look, there they are all those women, mocking me, telling me I’m not good enough. Standing in the line at the grocery store, I cannot escape, driving down the road, I cannot escape, television shows, commercials, movies, mail advertisements, I cannot escape. Now I understand his hell.

I am angry with them, for they give him things that I don’t believe I can. I hate them for they are everything I cannot afford to be.

Sex will never be the same, how could it be? Just as men cannot release the images, nor can I. I cannot stop thinking that what is most likely going through his head is not me, I cannot release the image of me compared to them, how could I compare? I cannot forget that he would rather look to them, than feel me. I no longer feel I am a sexual being, I no longer feel like a woman, I feel I may only be heart and soul, no body worth noticing. Constantly trying to stand next to a porn star in bed makes me feel worthless, I cannot do those things, the majority of the are degrading and painful, and how could anyone enjoy such a thing. I always thought sex was an act to be SHARED by two people behind closed doors, I private sensual act. There is nothing sensual about it.

Then I must remind myself of all that I have read from Shelly Luben, they don’t enjoy this, it’s just how they make there money, but they are in pain and suffering while showing people this is how it’s supposed to be? And they do it with smiles? Porn stars are fantastic actors, for no woman could enjoy such things.

Which brings me back to my feelings about women, I then start to feel guilty for hating them, but I just cannot help my rage, then I just tell myself I’m sure they were just like you once, modest, quiet, stuck, and broke.

--------------------
This article is part of the May Writing Challenge. If you like this article best, vote for it here:
http://www.throughtheflame.org/forum...ease-vote.html