[Scooter]

11 days without P or MB now and have only had 1 orgasm with my partner. For the first time in a while now I feel genuinely horny. I'm a little frustrated. For me masturbating has always been completely depenedent on porn. I would like to continue masturbating - I feel its a normal and healthy bodily function - but I fear I just wont be able to do it, and orgasm without porn. And in fact, I'm too scared to try - I have a feeling it will just end up in frustration!

This has made me ponder a bit about the P and MB cycle. I think a healthy and perhaps 'nomal' cycle includes a person becoming aroused, and then deciding to masturbate. For me, for a long time it hasn't been like that. Its almost like, my body tells me when its time to masturbate (maybe through routine, or body chemicals? i'm not sure), and then to masturbate I've required porn, leading to dependency.

So today my body has been speaking quite clearly to me that its time for its next orgasm... and I'm just going to have to find another 'means' of getting there. Thankfully, I'm not even tempted to look at P because I'm feeling so good about these changes (and having a filter helps).... its just frustrating feeling horny and not knowing what to do about it.