[leopold]

Dear Mozart (and PJ): The verse you're thinking of is Romans 7:14-8:2.

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. 8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

Thus, though we are slaves to sin, once we accept the Spirit of Christ into us, we are freed from sin, and no longer should have the quandary described above. Well...

As usual, Paul understands the human condition. In Rom 8:9 he says we are not controlled by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, and thus we should *not* be controlled or troubled by sin or lust. HOWEVER, in 8:12, he turns right around and says, "Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation--but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die..." You see? On one hand, we have been freed from slavery to sin, but on the other hand we still have an obligation to resist sin, and not live according to the sinful nature.

Thus, God did not make the world, or us, in such a way that we could just ask God, "Please deliver me from porn addiction," and He would miraculously heal us. God made the world so that resisting this addiction would take our best energy and attention, require help from many fellow-sufferers, and most important, an every day, every MOMENT attitude of listening to God's voice inside us, in scripture, and in the advice of loving people, and simply being obedient to that voice.

As another Christian working HARD to be healed of this illness, I pray for your recovery, PJ. I have no advice other than the usual: tell other people about your addiction, and get their help. Dismantle the secret life you've built around your porn addiction. Stop telling God what you want from Him, and start listening to what He wants from you, and then just do it without bargaining or resisting.

God bless you, and good luck, PJ.