[valjean77]

Hey Dave.
I'm straight (obviously...I talk about my wife constantly in my other posts) but I have a large number of close friends who are gay/lesbian, and living in the Bible Belt as I do, I've been able to see the struggle and prejudice that they go through. I grew up in a very strict, conservative church where ranting about "fags" from the pulpit was perfectly acceptable.
I've grown to a point where I absolutely despise that mindset and that use of any sort of epithet about anyone of any ethnicity, belief, or sexual identity (and I include all GLBT people in that). I'm a supporter of the HRC, and I find myself disgusted when I hear people say, "I don't see what's wrong with calling something gay." No offense, HalfPint, but when would that ever be used in a complimentary way? You're deriding something when you say that. Replace, "That's gay!" with "That's black!" or "That's Jewish!" or "That's straight!" Would you still say that? I assume your religious background is Christian, and Jesus taught tolerance. He never said a word about homosexuality. That's part of the reason I've always been so attracted to the philosophies of Buddhism...in Buddhism, the two greatest qualities a person can have are wisdom and compassion. The same could be said about Christianity, but in modern Christianity, judgementality all too often overshadows compassion.
Anyway.
It seems, from what I've seen, that porn has an unusual place in the gay community. The friends of mine that are gay seem to have enormous collections of porn that easily rival, and usually dwarf, what straight friends have had. Honestly, I believe a lot of it has to do with the prejudice that they experience in our society, something that I as a straight man can never really relate to. (I'm a straight, white man in middle America, so prejudice isn't something I've really had to deal with.) But in porn, you have continual reinforcement that "gay is okay," something that society doesn't tend to give you, so it's an easy escape, a way to feel some comfort.
My advice would be to take your comfort from your boyfriend. Make sure you have a strong community of people you can go to for support. The addiction is essentially the same whether you're gay or straight, you just have a little more working against you when it comes to the crap you have to deal with for being who you are.
I dunno if I made any sense at all. :p
Take care,
Colin