[Coyote Toast]

I'm blown away by how hard you're working on this. It's downright inspiring -- thank you for sharing it with us.

I don't think a specialist is really required to make headway on your P problem. A good psychotherapist will help you explore the underlying reasons you have become addicted. Although P is addictive, as are many drugs, people don't get addicted just because they get exposed -- core personality traits feed into it. Those traits can be identified and shaped with steady effort. Believe me, most therapists are very difficult to shock with revelations because they have heard so much. Their job is to extend compassionate understanding to anyone who needs help. Ultimately you have to find your own path through all this, but it wouldn't hurt to have a guide. Trusting someone else to play that role for you might be therapeutic in itself.

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck.