[pythagoras]

Thanks for being so honest ATraversLesFlammes.
Like castaway said- suicide is not an option. Please take it easy on yourself and be gentle with yourself- focus on your amazing progress. I mean it takes real courage and it is real progress to come out and be honest like you have.

I thank you and I am grateful to you for that.

Also the thing is it is normal to have a sex drive and thoughts are really beyond our control in a lot of ways- in my opinion. They come and go almost like raindrops from a rain cloud.
We don't have to act on them however and if we do we can learn from them. For me it is a journey of discovery and I avoid as much as possible morbid and harsh self reflection. Please keep up your great work ATraversLesFlammes.