[brulant]

Hi EmergingAngel

I don't know. I know that for me I truly value honesty and openness as and in a partner. I have learned that this is even more invaluable after having that horrible ex. I have a partner right now who's *not* the one who made me become open and aware of all of this side of human nature, but how he treats me and this issue is far too telling about the future.

I haven't read everything that you've posted, but the things that I've read of yours have impressed me. Granted I'm not her, but WOW if my current partner had done an iota of what you've done instead of blaming me and demonstrating that he isn't who he claims he is.... I think your getting the picture. My problem with him is that he's not being honest with me. ; ) I've already been through all of this, granted in much more extreme ways, but I really need honesty, openness and willingness in my case.... instead I've been given blame, shame, responsibility and a lot of deception. We were finally able to talk through some of this stuff, but he's appearing more and more in my thinking as a stbx (soon to be ex).

I kind of think that an approach with honesty, compassion and bringing her to this thread for starters and then sharing with her some of the rest of the site might actually help her far more in the long run.

Telling her that she might feel some triggers as I have, but let her know that she can talk to you.... or us if she choses.

It does wonders when you give the power back to someone, especially after they've had it stolen from them.

Share with her that you're aware that this is a difficult topic and it might bring up some emotionally charged issues.

The longer a secret exists the more it extracts.

Whatever you decide I send you strength and good thoughts!!!
brulant