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Originally Posted by apachedove  Over the years I did the letters and I cried and the fights. Nothing worked, I still got the lies and the stuoid excuses. I,m done, I.m working on leaving, didn,t tell him and won,t.
I have more important things in my life then to try and fix a person that doesn,t want to be fixed. Anyways I need to get through the lose of my little boy who passed away alittle over 4 years ago. |
I wish you all the best ApacheDove, especially in this transition. It sounds like you've been on your way to healing for a while and this is part of the next step. I'm proud of you and may you find the healing that you need.
I don't know if this is the case, but maybe there was a dynamic at work which was a part of needing something else to distract from going through the grieving steps from that loss and now you no longer need that distraction? Just something to ponder.
Suffering a loss in one's life, especially that of a child, can be devastating. I can only empathize through other losses I have had to grieve through or in my readings on grieving and letting go. There are many resources that I read that dealt with the loss of one's child.
I really, really do wish you all of the best and my heart goes out to you.
It is an admirable step your taking and it takes a lot of courage.
I remember my own turning points where it was just time to move (not meant literally, but meant figuratively.... although in your case it sounds like a literal!!) so that I could move on.
I still have something I wrote on my mirror when I was grieving the past the most.
"Your soul lives here"
with an arrow pointing downward so that when I looked at my reflection the arrow pointed to my head.
Its amazing to me now that I so desperately needed that daily reminder during everything that was happening. It was so simple, but it was just the daily medicine I needed. With that daily reminder how could I not begin to not want good things in and with my life!! ; ) It helped fight the depression when I felt afraid of those changes that were needed and when I felt drawn to go "backwards". My resolve definitely grew and I relearned who I was.
Stay safe and be well!
brulant