Quote:
Originally Posted by Glass_of_water  I don't think it is about punishing the partner, more about both partners recovering.
Many partners have spent so much time being rejected, so much time feeling unattractive and second rate, so much time where their sexual needs were not met because of their partners P addiction and so much time knowing that our partner preferred mb to p than sex with us it is hard to resume a normal sexual relationship.
We are trying to resume a normal sexual relationship, but I have lost much of my interest. I remember all the things that have happened and I think to myself that the only reason he wants a normal sexual relationship is because he no longer has the p, it has nothing to do with wanting me, he had me all along. That is a hard thing to get over.
So I don't think partners do it to punish their husbands, more to let their wounds heal. |
For me it is truly about me healing - exactly like as GOW stated, I need a break - I need to get the old tapes out of my head - I need to feel loved and desired for me, and I need to be a little selfish when it comes to sex - it needs to be about me for a change and he needs to make me feel that I am special and loved, not that he needs a fix. I don't know how long I'll make it - at some point it may seem like punishment for me - maybe then it'll mean I am ready, for now though it feels right and good - also my husband is not admiting a real problem yet and is just stopping the P for me not the M and not because he thinks he has a problem.
I just really still feel so sad and lonely - but I guess I am just having a rough day - haven't had time to post lately and want to start a journal - had to chime in on this though because I am right in the middle of it - thanks - ss