Quote:
Originally Posted by bodget1974  she also said if i didn't sort it out by the weekend i was out... i'm so at a loss here, this is were i fail misserably, i thought we had cleared air a little, and not that i thought it was in the past, but i need time to sort my head out, i have a lot going on up there..it's all a muddle really, i honestly feel this time i'm differant with regards the PA. i just need time to show to her and myself that i'm over it.
guess what i'm trying to say is i don't respond well when forced to talk, it just doesn't happen.. but i know i need to talk to her again, maybe tonight.
later.... |
My first instinct having been involved in abbie's journal and yours....is to say "For gods sake...Open up"...but I do understand what you mean...Just keep in mind that when your wall goes up, when the pressure is on to be "forced" to talk...Step back from your own perspective.
You feel pressure and lose the ability to focus on your thoughts right?
She's pushing you to open up because it's something real that she needs to deal with before she can move on in her own recovery.
If you can't open up, it's Wednesday right...you have until Friday night. Spend the next few days making notes of things that you are going through...example
Abbie,
*I find that I struggle the most with my pa, when ................
*I am going to do ............ when I feel triggered to keep from viewing p.
*If I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to fight it will you ...............to help me?
*I feel happy when you ....................
*It makes me sad when you .................
*I'm scared that I'll hurt you because of ..................
Love,
You
It seems silly, really it does...but by breaking down these statements into this basic format it will help you wrap your mind around something small...instead of being overwhelmed with the big picture.
Dragonin and I traded letters with similar questions...same question but with each of our different responses...to
i'm happy when he/she ..........
I'm sad when he/she............
I'm angry when he/she............
those three questions answered honestly and with the most sever of the possible responses can give you a different perspective on where your lover is really coming from.
I hope this helps.
peace and love
crys
Dragonin want's me to say that by writing this down before the conversation, you are making talking points about your future conversation...and will have a point of reference.
You cannot be afraid that what you say is going to hurt her, she may not like the answer but for an so it's better than getting nothing...and nothing is what she's gotten plenty of so far.
We hope this helps and ps...You're Killin' us in the arcade man...we don't stand a chance between you and FM.../sigh