Jacinda24, I am always saddened to hear of another woman going through this. Many of us are struggling with the same issues and feelings. I know myself I have wished that my Husband had never entered my life, those feelings are going but I will never love him the same as I once did.
I hope you are ok, and gain as much from this site as my husband and I have.
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Originally Posted by Jacinda24  First maybe once or twice a month, and he could never orgasm(I believe it's because he masturbates too much and can't enjoy the feeling of real sex/love) It made me feel so ashamed that I couldn't/can't make him orgasm. I frequently would cry myself to sleep about it. |
This is something I have also struggled with. At the time I didn't know about the P, all I knew was that he wasn't able to finish with me... I didn't know what I was doing wrong, and I would try everything I could and would always fail. Was it how I looked, was I the wrong size, was my technique bad... endless questions...
All those nights I cried and he knew all along why he was unable to finish, yet he allowed me to cry and begin to hate the idea of being intimate with him. Even now that the P has stopped and those issues have also gone, I am having trouble feeling comfortable and confident with him again.
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Originally Posted by Jacinda24 It's funny in a sense because I remember asking him very early on in the relationship if he had porn or liked it and he denied it all. |
My hubby also denied it, he made disparaging remarks about P and that he didn't like it or use it. Sigh... If only he had been honest with me then we could have solved so many problems.
I would recommend reading the journals of the women on this site, as they have shown the journey starting from where you are now and working through this. I do hope you are ok though.