[Lucky Man]

I have spent hours on this site today, and felt good about where I was and the direction of my relationship with Storm. But I have to say that I just had the most horrible guilt and sorrow experience that it’s hard to even talk about it. Storm knew something was wrong, but I really didn’t want to tell her I felt crappy, because I SHOULD feel crappy, and up till now thought I knew the pain Storm was going through. Wrong. I don’t know if this is part of the road to recovery, or what the hell it is, but I feel more pain for what I did now, right now than when I was “caught”. Is that how I could do it in the first place, by disconnecting with my feelings, by rationalizing my behavior?? I am so overwhelmed by guilt right now. The worst part is, no matter how terrible I might feel for my actions, I know it’s much worse for Storm. When I finally told her what was wrong with me she told me to post my feelings, and maybe it would help me (which it did) and maybe someone else. Thanks to all, sorry for spewing….LM