[Coyote Toast]

I think we're talking about sex addiction, Dave. The P is only the medium for the addiction. The drug addict can choose to use heroin, cocaine, oxycontin, whatever, but it's all still drug addiction. So taking away the P may not be getting to the underlying issues. You might benefit from trying to explore what purpose sex serves in your emotional life. Is it a release from stress and tension? Is it an escape from anxiety or pressure? Is it something you use for calming or soothing? If so, then your investigation could dig into why you have chosen sex as a way to regulate your emotional life. I highly recommend working with a good therapist to attempt this kind of archaeology of the self.

And it's possible that it really isn't about those things, in which case you need to find out what it really is about. If I understand you correctly, it isn't just about sharing pleasure with your mate. Something else is going on.

However, it's good to remember that sex is a healthy part of life. Sex addict specialist Patrick Carnes does NOT recommend celibacy as a treatment strategy for sex addicts. He feels it's too unbalanced and doesn't really resolve the underlying problem. That said, it is imperative to stop the addictive behaviors. But most sexual behavior is not addicted behavior. Carnes offers some guidelines to assess whether a sexual behavior is addictive or not. You can find that in his book OUT OF THE SHADOWS. Anyway, best of luck to you.