[Storm]

Bodget-

May I offer some insight into SO's? I don't know that I'm that wise and I certainly don't speak for everyone -

I don't know why but since all this happened to my husband and myself sometimes when he wants to do something that is just for him it makes me furious. The anger isn't about punishing him - it's more of a fear. I have thought alot about this lately because it makes me feel crazy and irrational.

The only thing I can come up with is that when it bothers me that he wants to golf etc. it's when I'm feeling sad or upset about the situation. Then he wants to do something that is all about him - again (just like p & mb) and I start panicking - thinking thought like "you'll never change - it's alll about you".
I think what I need at those moments is to see my husband give up something he wants for himself and do something unselfish for me or our child-put his own wants and desires second. When he does this I feel like - yes!! he gets it- he's capable of changing!
I go from being grouchy to being hopeful and sweet.

I don't know if that helps - it's just something I've discovered about myself. You should try - when you see your wife is maybe on edge - just dropping whatever it is that you want and doing something that isn't about you. I can almost guarantee her reaction will not be to argue.

I know you guys are all trying hard and I really do salute you. Keep up the good work!
Storm