[LOST]

I made it through yesterday!!!! The whole day was pretty though but I kept busy.... went surfing, then on a hike and in the evening for a long run. In a way I guess all this exercise kept me happy and occupied although I am super sore today.
I kept thinking last night that it is not really getting any easier at the moment. I mean when I first stopped going online and watching P I continued MB, not as frequent as before but still. Then I realized that I was just giving into my addiction, that I was just cheating myself since I wasn’t really fighting the bigger problem. I just remembered all the pictures and scenes that are still all over my brain and jerked off. Nothing really changed.
Now, havening stopped the MB it really hit me hard yesterday. But I made it through and well I feel great. I know if I would have given in I would not have been motivated to do all those great outdoors things. I would have probably spend most of the day in front of the computer, would have never left the house and would have felt frustrated, angry! Instead, choosing this new road, I feel proud, motivated and healthy.
I had a long conversation with my wife last night and told her about my day and my feelings, my struggle. Being this open to her about my feelings is something new for me and is not the easiest thing to do. But sharing this with her is showing her that I am in the middle of this battle and had my first real victory! And this earned me some sympathy on her side. What a great reward!!!!
Today is a good day. I guess I am still on this kind of high for last night.