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Actions may speak louder than words, Bodget. Keep acting right and you won't need the words.

It's just a moment-by-moment choice.

I'm here struggling because I've been P free for about 120 days, but MB free only 3, and I just checked out sports illustrated swimsuit and I've been checking people out as I work in a cafe or drive down the street.

I feel like there's no winning this one - my body is trained to look, my blood pumps and I get in that 'zone' where I crave and then start looking. Just the past couple days have been the hardest in a while to look at P. I'm glad I haven't, but I'm still frustrated that I've indulged in other ways - like it diminishes my 120 day victory.

You know, it's just homeostasis. I've been training my body for 15 years or so that when I have the urge, indulge it! That's how I've trained myself. If only I practiced my martial art so impulsively over the last 15 years!

So, thanks for sharing and allowing me to write to you. I really get that there's no losing if we're on this path. It's being on the path that means we're winning. Your relationship with your wife may be in a slump at the moment, but victories wouldn't be so sweet without a slump.

Thanks for standing for yourself being P-free. I'm with you.