[LOST]

Today it has been 3 weeks since I last watched porn!
I feel great about that but it wasn't easy all the time.
My wife and I try to communicate about my addiction as much as possible although I feel it hard to open up to her all the way. I believe that I am still kind of embarrassed about it all. We still sleep in different rooms but I can feel and see that we are on the right way. I am so lucky and thankful that she is standing by my side.
She was asking me what kind of plan I had for my PA and I told her that I wouldn't really have one yet. That made her very angry since the said she has to see me working on my recovery. She wouldn't know what I was doing during the day and since her trust in me is as good as gone she would need some reassurance by me taking some steps. I don’t know how I can make her believe me and show her that I am changing and although we did install some sort of spyware on our computer she thinks that it takes more than just stopping watching porn and I agree. I will need some sort of plan to be able to fight it when the urge comes back. I mean at the moment I would say it is easier than I thought. I guess that's because:
1. I, myself, decided to stop my PA for myself
2. I am desperately trying to save my marriage!
It makes total sense to choose a happy life with my wife and being happy with myself than living in this fake world of denial and secrecy!
But I am scared that once we will sort things out between us and things go back to 'normal' that my addiction might resurface again. I want to be ready for that! I just don't know how?
Just like Bodget1974 I am stopping with 2 addictions at the same time: Porn and Cigarettes! Although, it is really hard to quite my smoking habit (it’s been 3 weeks as well!!!!!!), it is way easier to talk to my wife about my battles with the cigarettes and to show her results than it is to talk to her about my PA and to figure out a fight plan!
Anyway, it has been 3 weeks and I am proud of myself and I know I am on the right way.
I wouldn’t be here today without TTF. I am amazed by how good it feels to know that there are people out there that go through the same struggle and that care for you! Thanks guys!