[FoolishMind]

Bodget, your making great progress, firstly, you need to acknowledge that.

I read in all your posts that you are really cut up, that you have opened your eyes completely now and paining that things are tough between you and your wife. So you know that I can relate to this I too have a daughter of 4years old. And in the beginning weeks, it was a daughter that made us converse and possibly laugh and have a nice moment. But the rest of the time, there was the horrible atmosphere, and I just wanted to deperatley say sorry, and ask my wife can everything just be normal now please. But then why should it, this atmosphere was ultimatley created by me, and I would need a thousand fingers to count how many times i have apologised before.

So I broke things down for myself and made it simple for myself to understand.

1) I have ruined the meaning of sorry - therefore I shant use it
2) I have ruined the meaning of promise - therefore i shant use it
3) I will not expect my wife to trust me again - I dont need it
4) I know my wife loves me so much, else she would not have tried again, she would have just walked out.

So point 4 was me hanging on a thread, I decided to put all my focus on that thread, and make it stronger. Turning that thread into a thick piece of rope so to speak.

In that scenario, I felt, actions really do speak louder than words, I didnt trust myself that I was going to succeed on this journey, I honestly thought, this might just buy me another month!

But I really educated myself on this site, and I really did plan, and I was extremely focussed. For me that is how I have been successful to this date.

It took over 2 weeks before my and my wife actually spoke as properly. Before we even held hands etc. I just saw this as an opportunity to romance and win my wifes heart all over again.

7 months + and we have a better relationship now than our last 5 years of marriage. Sometimes things really do have to hit rock bottom before you can build new foundations again.

Dominus said something to me at the begining of my journey, that I will repeat to you.

This will probably be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

(hard to beleive now - but followed by a lot of effort, look back on this later, and see if it stands true)

FM